Roses and skull long wallet clutch- available soon!

Oh Yes, I’ve done it again- Bad-Assery now has a place in your back pocket and loaded with VALUE!
it may be hard to imagine- but someone will most likely throat punch you, then run away with this…
Because of the possibility of a Full Frontal Throat assault, I’m including a weekend class of personal training with yours truly, where I will create scenarios for you to fight your way out of. (valued at over $8,000.00)
I will also throw in a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey to share ( with ME!) and your choice of Soda- No DIET CRAP! Nobody who is preparing for various throat assaults drinks Diet soda with Jack! That’s shit is for liberals and cat loving Panzy Boys!
Did I mention that its made in the USA! that alone should be an immediate strike of the BUY button- Because- Merica!
I Heavily coated this wallet in Bacon Grease! I like Bacon- I don’t want NON-Bacon lovers to own this! (premium Bacon Grease-valued at $1,800.00)
Will add color to your weird Doll collection with Frankenstein parts from other dolls with bad haircuts. (valued at $2,500)
I will also include various vintage VHS tapes from the 80’s- at least one of them will be The Toxic Avenger!$$$ CHA_CHING$$$ (Valued at $1500.00)
Buying this will helps make more room for other cows to get humanely slaughtered for the use of good steak- That’s a HUUUGE plus. I really like steak.
My children will be really happy because they got Toast with their breakfast-FINALLY! (PRICELESS)
well its 3 am now- and im drawing blanks again….
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-Gravy!

Description

So- there I was, staring deeply into the ceiling at 2 am one morning. I had this piece of wet blank leather in front of me and I had nothing- the only thing I was drawing were COMPLETE BLANKS! Then- like the thunderous crashing of a 4′-2″ old lady wearing coke bottles and a bum hearing aid- into the entry wall of her 55+ mobile home park- It hit me! DRAW A SKULL AND SOME ROSES! So I did that- in my delirium- till I saw the sun crack the mountain peaks that shadows our shop. Soon after, I stumbled into bed like a lethargic chubby def ginger. When I woke from the dreams filled with short buffet lines and Roast beef and gravy dip, I rolled back into my shop to see what I had made. To my surprise- I had created this little ditty of a masterpiece that is soft in color and boggling in proportions- Stunning to the senses and delightful to the query of your darkest kept secrets. Oh yes, This little Magic-Pot is forboding in every way. Skillfully made to erect your senses and stimulate the hiding child inside you that still takes dull craft scissors to your own hair so you have the perfect set of choppy bangs that only a Edgar Alan Poe could love. Wordy! I know- but guess what… it’s that magic hour again, and here I am writing this. woof! I need to go to bed, I’m getting hungry again anyways- Here I come my sweet dreamy buffet-Here I come!